A man and his wife are driving along the road when a police car flags them down. The officer signals to the man to roll his window down.
“Do you realize, sir, you were doing 36 miles per hour in a 30 mph area?”
Husband: You must be mistaken officer, I was doing no more than 30 I assure you.”
Wife: Oh Peter, don’t lie. I warned you you were going far too fast.”
Policeman: Furthermore sir, I am going to have to book you for having no rear license plate.
Husband: What? Oh my, it must have fallen off, I thought I heard a noise just about fifteen minutes ago, didn’t I dear?
Wife: Oh Peter, don’t lie. I told you three weeks ago it had fallen off and you simply ignored me.
Policeman: Indeed? Well, for that sir, I am also going to charge you for not wearing a seatbelt.
Husband: But officer, I slipped it off when I stopped for you as I thought you might want me to come out of the car.
Wife: Oh Peter, do stop lying. I have nagged you ever since we left the house about it, but again, oh no, just ignore me. He never wears his belt officer.
By this time the man is so incensed with her, he lets rip.
“Oh yes, nag, nag, nag. Why don’t you ever effin shut up, you ugly, vicious motor-mouthed heap of cheap scented lard!”
Policeman: Excuse me, madam, does your husband always talk to you like this?
Wife: Oh no officer, only when he’s drunk.