You won’t stop laughing here. Discover our great clean jokes collection for funny people who don’t swear
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blȯnde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls”. Nevertheless, the blȯnde continued to look […] More
An atheist goes to heaven. Baffled and full of questions he is being shown around by God. “Why am I here? I am an atheist.” “That does not matter, all good people end up here.” As they pass by a gay couple kissing the atheist wonders “Isn’t that a sin?” “That does not matter, all […] More
A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, D.C. He said to a man standing near the curb, “Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?” “What?” the man huffed. “Do you realize that I am a member of the […] More
The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mister, don’t ever do […] More
“I hope you didn’t take it personally, Reverend,” an embarrassed woman said after a church service, “when my husband walked out during your sermon.” “I did find it rather disconcerting,” the preacher replied. “It’s not a reflection on you,” insisted the church goer. “Ralph has been been walking in his sleep since childhood.” More
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I […] More
A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. ‘Come with me’, said St. Peter to the taxi driver. The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a […] More
Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no […] More
My wife is an economist and I am an engineer. I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said in my best engineer voice, “Hey sweetheart, why don’t you utilize the load maximization principle […] More
A man meets his Tinder date at a carnival. “There’s so many games!” he said, “What do you wanna do?” “I wanna get weighed.” she says, shyly looking at the ground. They go to the GUESS-Your-WEIGHT booth and she wins a stuffed animal. “What next?” he asks. “I wanna get weighed.” she says, confidently looking […] More
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.” The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?” “Yes, Father, it is.” “And who was the girl you were with?” “I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.” “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her […] More
A robber breaks into a house and ties up the woman and man. The robber asks where the jewels are and the guy responds with: “I’ll give you everything! Please, let her go…” Robber: “I only care about the jewels! I won’t hurt you if you give me what I want…” Guy: “I BEG you, […] More
