Latest Stories

  • Simple thievery

    Simple thievery

    An Englishman and an Irishman go to a bakery. The Englishman steals three buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He says to the Irishman: “That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn’t even see me.” “That’s just simple thievery,” the Irishman replied. “I’ll show you how to […] More

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  • Having a Beer

    Having a Beer

    A man walks into a bar and orders three beers. He takes a drink out of one… sets it down. Takes a drink out of the second… sets it down. Takes a drink out of the third one… sets it down and repeats this process until all three beers are gone. The man then leaves. […] More

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  • Turn signal...

    Turn signal…

    On a recent flight I was on, this elderly woman kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. “I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, “but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator […] More

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  • Did you hear about Tom?

    Did you hear about Tom?

    Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply “It could have been worse.” To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could […] More

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  • The Vase

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    The Vase

    A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he’s standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up, and as he’s […] More

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  • Big People Words

    Big People Words

    A group of kindergartners was trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. “You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. “I went to visit my Nana.” “No, […] More

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  • A Prayer Upon Waking

    A Prayer Upon Waking

    Dear God, so far today, I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped, and I haven’t lost my temper. I haven’t been grumpy, nasty or selfish, and I’m really glad of that! But in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot […] More

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  • Timing Is Key

    Timing Is Key

    The pastor of a local church was visited by a man evidently worse for liquor, and a young lady. She said to the minister, “Please, sir, we’ve come to be married.” “I can’t marry you with this man in this condition,” said the clergyman. “Besides haven’t you been here twice before, and haven’t I told […] More

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  • Missing fingers...

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    Missing fingers…

    Jon’s working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room. The doctor says, “Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I’ll see what I can do.” Jon says, “I haven’t got the fingers.” The doctor says, “What do […] More

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  • Missing Palm Sunday

    Missing Palm Sunday

    On Palm Sunday, a five-year-old boy had a sore throat and stayed home from church with a babysitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked them what they were.”People held them over Jesus’ head as He walked by,” his father told him. “Wouldn’t you know it,” the boy […] More

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  • Where Is God?

    Where Is God?

    In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it nearly always turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits’ end trying to control them and after hearing about a priest nearby who […] More

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  • Suppose you're at sea

    Suppose you’re at sea…

    A sea cadet is being examined: “Suppose you’re at sea and a storm comes up, what would you do?” Cadet: I’d throw out an anchor. Examiner: And what if another storm comes up. Cadet: I’d throw out another anchor. Examiner: But what if an even bigger storm comes up? Cadet: I throw out an even […] More

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