Latest Stories

  • A Daughter's Date to the Rescue


    A Daughter’s Date to the Rescue

    One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He’d toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question – and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried […] More

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  • Two Old Guys on a Wife Hunt


    Two Old Guys on a Wife Hunt

    Two old guys are pushing their carts around Walmart when they collide… The first old guy says to the second guy, ‘Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.’ The second old guy says, ‘That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my […] More

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  • A Little Girl's Unconventional Pets

    A Little Girl’s Unconventional Pets

    A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, “Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?” The shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he’s on her level, and asks, “Do you want a widdle white wabbit…or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit…or […] More

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  • Blame it on the Birth Certificate

    Blame it on the Birth Certificate

    “What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-David, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who filled out by Birth Certificate was an asshole.” More

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  • When Nature Calls

    When Nature Calls

    A traveling salesman was held up in the west by a rainstorm and flood. He e-mails his office in NY: “Delayed by storm. Send instructions.” His boss e-mails back: “Start vacation immediately.” More

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  • When Isolation Takes an Unexpected Turn

    When Isolation Takes an Unexpected Turn

    Sam has been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so […] More

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  • A Father-Son Comedy Routine

    A Father-Son Comedy Routine

    My 7 year old son came in from school today and asked me: “Dad, what kind of mouse can walk on 2 legs?” “Erm, I don’t know” I replied “Mickey Mouse” he replied laughing “Dad, what kind of duck can walk on 2 legs” “Donald Duck” I replied “No, all ducks you idiot” More

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  • The Checkout Counter Insult

    The Checkout Counter Insult

    A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The cashier says, “You must be single.” The man answered, “Wow, how did you know that?” The cashier replied, “Because you’re ugly.” More

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  • Choosing Between Love and Liquor

    Choosing Between Love and Liquor

    I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?” I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled… […] More

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  • A Hilarious Act of Honesty

    A Hilarious Act of Honesty

    The children were all lined up for their first confession when Little Johnny’s turn came. The priest asked him to confess his sins, and the boy promptly replied, “Father, I threw a stone at Jimmy.” “That was a very misguided thing to do, my son,” said the priest patiently. “It wasn’t misguided at all,” said […] More

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  • God's Solution to Eve's Loneliness

    God’s Solution to Eve’s Loneliness

    “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.” “And why is that Eve?” “Lord, I am lonely, and I’m sick to death of apples.” “Well, […] More

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