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  • Take up where we left off

    Take up where we left off

    A plumber was called to a woman’s apartment in New York to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked babe, and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly. About 5.30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing the bedroom shenanigans. […] More

  • This Spud's For You

    This Spud’s For You

    Just the thought of Thanksgiving Dinner is enough to make you drool. The turkey, the stuffing…cranberry sauce, hot gravy and….what? No potatoes? Not for the first Thanksgiving, anyway. Potatoes have been a cultivated vegetable for more than 2,000 years. In the 5th century B.C. the Incas relied on them as a main crop, even drying […] More

  • Better chances

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    Better chances

    An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating proposing. “Do you think she’d marry me if I tell her I’m 45?” he asked a friend. “Your chances are better,” said the friend, “if you tell her you’re 90.” More

  • The Sleeping Giant

    The Sleeping Giant

    Nobody is quite sure how Siberia got its name. Some historians attribute it to one of the first nomadic tribes to inhabit the inhospitable land, the Sibirs. Others claim that it comes from the Turkic word for “sleeping land”, a moniker that would seem more appropriate, given its geography and the fact that unlike the […] More

  • Chain of command

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    Chain of command

    During training exercises, the Lieutenant who was driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel. “Your car stuck, sir?” asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside. “Nope,” replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the keys. “Yours is.” More

  • Football On A Shoe String

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    Football On A Shoe String

    World War II and the years running up to it were a time of deprivation for everyone, with the greatest loss being all the men and women who served overseas, leaving not only their families but their jobs, as well. That included everyone from packing clerks and bus drivers to professional football players. New college […] More

  • Gone Fishin'

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    Gone Fishin’

    A famous Admiral and an equally famous General were fishing together when a sudden storm hit. When it died down both renowned warriors were struggling helplessly in the water. The Admiral floundered his way back to the boat and pulled himself painfully in. Then he fished out the General, using an oar. Catching his breath, […] More

  • Famed Flyer's Fatal Finale

    Famed Flyer’s Fatal Finale

    As most Snoopy fans know, there really was a WWI hero named The Red Baron, but only as a nickname. The real person was Manfred von Richtofen, born 1892. As a young man, he excelled in sports like horsemanship and became very fond of the awards he won. During his service in WWI, von Richtofen […] More

  • pitiful life

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    Pitiful life

    Satan arrives to welcome a new damned soul to hell. “Congratulations!”, he says, “You wasted your entire pitiful life!” “Well,” the man replies, “at least I’m not a adult living in my father’s basement.” More

  • Rolling Along For A Hundred Years

    Rolling Along For A Hundred Years

    In 1896, Leo Hirshfield immigrated to America, carrying with him the secret recipe for sweet success. What he began making in his a little store in New York City, was the hard, chewy chocolate candy known far and wide as the Tootsie Roll, which took its name from Hirshfield’s nickname for his daughter, Tootsie. One […] More

  • Tourists

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    Tourists

    A group of American tourists was being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. “This place,” the guide told them, “is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years.” “Wow,” said one woman dryly, “they must have the same landlord I have.” More

  • "Shell" We Just Call Them Quadruplets?

    “Shell” We Just Call Them Quadruplets?

    Armadillos are a fascinating creature because although the armor makes them look very much like some type of reptile, they are actually a mammal. The hard exterior armor is linked by bands of skin which allows their body enough flexibility that they can curl into a ball to protect their soft undersides. Besides being soft, […] More

  • Are you this nice to every guy you meet?

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    Are you this nice to every guy you meet?

    A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively […] More

  • Going With The Flow

    Going With The Flow

    Humans are used to getting things backwards. But a few things in Nature go backwards all by themselves, and for perfectly good reasons. The Mississippi River in America flowed backwards after an 1811 earthquake. The Reversing Falls in Saint John, New Brunswick in Canada, also flows backwards twice a day, as the tide comes in […] More

  • What's wrong with you?

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    What’s wrong with you?

    Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the hell was wrong with you? Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take […] More

  • Pardon Me, Is That Ice Cube, Hopping?

    Pardon Me, Is That Ice Cube, Hopping?

    It’s an environmental skill that was likely acquired when the last Ice Age swept over the Earth, and one that millions of years later, may provide the answer to extending the window of opportunity for human organ transplants. It’s the wood frog’s ability to turn into a froggy ice cube, then thaw itself out, and […] More

  • Car Insurance

    Car Insurance

    I renewed my car insurance over the phone today, and as I was about to hang up the woman on the other end asked if I had a pet. I said, “Yes, I’ve got a dog.” She asked, “Would you like to insure him too?” I said, “No thanks, he can’t drive!” More

  • Coffee And A Pig, Anyone?

    Coffee And A Pig, Anyone?

    Sure, you normally offer someone coffee and a Danish, but in Denmark, it’s easier to find a pig. Because they outnumber the residents there, nearly 5-1. The country has approximately 5.4 million human inhabitants, but each year it exports 25 million pigs. That’s makin’ a lot of bacon! It may very well turn out to […] More

  • Please father, help me!

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    Please father, help me!

    A 16-year old girl enters a church in tears. “Please father, help me” “What is it my child?” “Father, I need your help. I’m pregnant.” The priest sighed. “I understand my child. You have sinned but you are not the first, nor the last. Our Lord is all-forgiving and I’m here to help you through […] More

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