A married man goes into a confessional and says to his priest, “I had an affair with a woman… almost.”
The priest says, “What do you mean, almost?”
The man says, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.”
The priest says, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say 5 Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.”
The man leaves the confessional, says his prayers, then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly runs over to him, saying, “I saw that, you didn’t put any money in the poor box!”
The man replies, “Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and apparently that’s the same as putting it in.”